Vague Reveries

My initial plan was to get my poor but trusty car to be fixed this month. Alas, that plan would have to be postponed yet again. There are so many things that need fixing. I just hope that it won’t get to the point that I have to rely on roadside assistance to keep my poor car going. *sigh* I sometimes wonder why my life seems to be harder than most people around me. But then again, looks can be deceiving sometimes eh?

Mountain of debts need to be cleared, and now it may continue to grow instead. I could only stare, pray & work my ass off and hopes for the best to come. Some people gets irritated when I was being negative, and some still gets irritated when I’m trying to look at the brighter side of life. Life is indeed hard. Learned that the hard way, again and again.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Nowadays, I could not even walk for a long time without having the bad knee aching. So I tend to walk less, move less and of course that made me weigh more! I wonder, maybe it’s the shoes that made the pain more intense than the actual injury was. As I read on, I found out that mbt shoes could be the best solution for my problem for now.

It really never occured to me before that knee pain could be such a pain in the ass! I could relate now to my grandma’s situation when she said the knees are such a pain, even more during cold, wet days. I am only 31, yet I can relate to my grandma’s pain! Geez! All the freedom to play, to work out is now limited to one or two activities, just like the rest of my life is. Feeling sorry for myself is not going to get me anywhere, I know that. But hey, I am allowed to cry my heart out, feeling sorry for myself for a while before I could actually kick myself up and moved on, be the more positive me right? Even the Science findings shows that crying is good. So please understand that. Be kind to me when you select the words to cheer me up.

If you think my attitude is not helping, try to be in my shoes. I don’t have lands for me to fall back on, I don’t have a degree nor a diploma that can be count on to work for an organisation with “less stress” than the ones that I used to work at with the same salary scale. I had it rough throughout my life.  It was almost there within my grasps for me to change it all, but hey, again the opportunity was taken away from me in a blink of an eye. I don’t usually say it out loud, and I try my best to be positive all throughout my life or else I would not be here today. People see that I am made of steel, but they don’t know that there are times when I melt down to make a stronger material in me. I know, you are learning to know me better, so please, try to be in my shoes.

Forgive me if I have been such an ass with all these situations. I have been counting on you to understand, but I guess it’s going to be a long learning process for us. AND how did the talk about shoes came about to this?

Just as rain washes away dirt from the streets, tears clear away emotional mud that can clog your ability to continue with your day. Crying is as valuable as sneezing or coughing. ~ Mary Butler & Diane Mastromarino, Take Time For You.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Never been one that just bought kuih raya off the shelves, I have always enjoyed making my own and of course getting some from my aunties during raya. So I did not know how much the kuih raya are being sold. As I was wondering about the price for my honey cornflakes/cornflakes madu/snek madu in my previous post , I went around asking friends and family members.

Boy, was I shocked when I found out the market price! 42 cents to 50 cents each! So today, what I’m going to do is go to the shop, find out the cost price and try to figure out a price that is competitive enough but hopefully not that expensive as the rest. But I guess, there’s a reason why people are putting up such prices hmmm? Price hike everywhere, how about the income? Sheeeeshhhh…..

Popularity: 1% [?]

Woke up, switched on the TV and now is watching Live Tennis match between Federer and Djokovic. I am no fan of Tennis, but it is still good to watch when nothing else better is on If I were to play tennis myself, I think I would need insurance quotes before hand, those fast balls are sure gonna hit my face one way or another LOL! And oOoh, Djokovic just broke his racquet!

Nevertheless, I can only watch such fun games now. Anything that requires the knees to support the body is out! Futsal, badminton, tennis etc. I don’t know if my injured knee will ever healed up again. I could do light swimming, or else the knee will hurt like nobody’s business. Tennis players with great physique condition, ahhh… now that is something that I want to work towards to at the moment, but how with this bad knee of mine? I have gained about 5kg for the past 6 months since I quit futsal altogether and that is not good. Gotta find a way soon….

Popularity: 1% [?]

I have spent today in this very spot on my bed, without eating anything. Haaa! As much as I love food, but when I am home, I just do not have the motivation to move my lazy bum and cook for myself. I would rather sleep than cook and eat.

As I was surfing away online, I got to think of one good reason if I were to work in an office again. The convenience of having a xerox phaser 8560 to photocopy all your documents. At least that was what we have in the office where I was working before. Apart from that, maybe the fact that there is something to wait for at the end of the month, the salary. As small as it was, still we are sure that it is going to be there in our accounts by month end.

I have been told many times that it is only my mindset… yes, it is my mindset, not only that, I happen to despise the thought now that I have tasted the freedom of making money on my own time. It has always been my goal to be my own boss, to have my own business. If there are demands for it here, I would rather go clean houses than having to put up with going into the office at a certain time, punching in, punching out. Goodness, I have been doing that for more than 10 years, it is just not for me!

C’mon opportunity, come knocking on my door now so that I would not have to do donkey’s work for other people again. If I would have to resort to that again, be sure that you will be reading a lot of complaining here again.

Popularity: 1% [?]