Vague Reveries

Though it was boring, I was having a good day until late afternoon. I was so glad that I had decided the day before to join my friends to play futsal after work, so at least I could get things off my mind for at least 40 minutes. Whenever I start thinking about stressful stuff, I just get headache and that is the indicator for me to stop thinking to avoid having my blood pressure shoots up too high again. It is really hard to do so, though. At times like this, I just feel that if only I could just leave everything here with a blink of an eye,  move to another country and start a totally new life! Start fresh from scratch. But of course, moving to another country is easier said that done - lots of procedures, requirements etc etc. Sometimes when things just seem to get out of hand, I just want to start anew and leave behind all the complications in my life..

After having “healthy” food for almost 2 weeks, I gave in to my food temptation today as I just want to be in a better mood. I stuffed myself with my favourite hearty dish of fish & chips at Archie’s Corner. I did not feel any better, but at least I have something good to think about when I’m off to bed - the good, hearty, scrumptious, delicious fish & chips. This may require me to check out accutane reviews for deep fried food always brings out the acne! And people say, the acne gets better when you gets older.. sheeeshhhhh! Maybe if I have tonnes of money to spare for a good weekly backscrub and skin treatment.

My fish fillet (Fish & Chips) : Price - RM15.oo

Chicken Chop : Price - RM14.oo

For the hearty potions above, those are cheap dinner, and they were tasty!  Archie’s De Corner, you rock! Anyway, it is now 11pm. An hour past my normal bedtime. I better sign off now and get some sleep. Weekend is always here - hope you will have a great weekend…

p.s: Will upload the photo of my fish & chip dinner when I am at an area with better internet connection.

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How was your weekend? Mine was spent at home, in bed, with me finally down with the rest of the people around me who had been sick due to the haze situation here in Kota Kinabalu. Spent most of the time sleeping, was feeling better earlier this morning but as soon as I got off the car and inhaled the haze-filled air, I got dizzy again. Come on rain, have mercy on us, shower on this part of the world now …

While I was at the clinic last Saturday morning, I got my blood pressure checked, too. Alas, 155/105. Bad, very bad. While others are getting herbal diet supplements to lose excess weight, I’ll have to try and take some herbal tea to try and lower my blood pressure again. I gotta do this fast or I’ll have to be on the high blood pressure medication. Nooooooooooooooo!!! I couldn’t do any outdoor exercise at the moment in this haze. If this haze situation does not improve until the end of the month, then I’ll have no choice but to sign up to a gym again. How about futsal? Well, I’ve decided to stay off futsal until my injured knee heals properly or until the 10K BIM is over and done with. Keep on getting myself injured during the futsal session, so it is definitely not good to the knee.

Anyway, take care everyone. Drink plenty of water, try to stay indoor, especially to those of you who are in the same continent as I am, with this haze surrounding us. You do not want to be sick as I am at the moment. It suck!

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Friday night. Some got midnight snacks, some went for a midnight show while I got a midnight annoyance!

I was already asleep when this certain number keep on giving me short missed calls. I don’t recognise the number, so no way I would if the other person who was making those missed calls was hoping that I would return the calls. I simply ignored it and went back to sleep. But to my annoyance, the person called again and since it rang for sometime, this time I picked it up.

“Assalamualaikum, boleh berkenalan?”

Eh, this guy must’ve dialed the wrong number so I told him so. But to my aghast, he replied that he just called to get to know me!! WTF! At 12.30 A.M?? Is this guy so desperate that he would think he would get lucky at this hour? I just hung up on him after that. It was then that I saw that he already sent a text message before hand asking the same question. Again, he attempted to call. So I just switched the phone off and went back to sleep.

When I switched on my phone this morning, I got a missed calls notification that he tried to call again for another three times. Such persistance for something so pathetic. This guy should get colonoxy to clean off his system then maybe he could sleep at night so that he would not be such an annoyance to anybody else. A while ago, another friend got the same annoying calls and she posted the number at her Facebook’s status. I wonder if it is the same number and where the heck did these people got hold of our numbers. Could be just a random dial too, eh? Whatever it is, I do not welcome such calls, be it at night or day time.

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For the first time ever, I feel so unacknowledged in my work. In my years of working experience before, I’ve always done my best in my work despite the constant complaining. Complaining is something that I’m learning to do less now. Anyway, I feel that all my hardwork, all the long hours I spent working for the past year was just for nothing. Okay, I am being paid to do so, so are the rest. But some gets the year end bonus, most of us doesn’t. It’s like telling the rest of us that we’re not as important as those few bonus recipients or that the end result of our work are just a piece of shit.

The thing that is so disappointing is the work performance and quality of some of the recipients are way below what other company’s management would say, ahem, average. I know my work quality is above average, in fact the rating I got from my performance appraisal resulted that it’s a rank below “Excellent”, the highest rank in the appraisal system.  How many employees gets to reach the excellent level anyway? Seems like the understanding of this company of year-end bonus is to reward those staff who have been working for a certain period of years in this company, for the years a staff has been wasting the company resources. LOL! How do you beat that understanding? The newly employed staff would never be able to catch up with the those who have spent their “loyalty” for 10 years or so. It is just so disappointing beyond belief. Remembering what a certain staff said sometime ago, that why should we be a freeloader, while that person is the master of that art? Haaaaa! Indeed, it is hilarious. Speak for yourself. Life may be unfair, but what goes around, comes around. You’ll get a taste of your own medicine when it is your time.

I know I am good with my work, I strive for perfection, I am what people say a typical Virgo for goodness sake! But that is, when I think I can go somewhere, that I’ll be rewarded for all the effort I put in. When that is not the case, oh, I can do the total opposite of striving for perfection. My ex-boss contacted me out of the blue last month, offering me a post as a Sales Executive and asked me how much I want to take the post. It was really an honour, he didn’t offer me a certain amount, he asked me to state the price and he’ll be the one to consider if he can afford to pay me or not. Yes, I am that good. Too bad I am not interested in doing sales, and sales involving imported office furniture is just too challenging for me. I’ll only accept a job offer that I am capable of, and maintaining a good relationship with my ex-boss is vital for future opportunities I don’t want to spoil the reputation I have with his company by accepting the generous offer knowing that it’s not my field of expertise.

Ah well, today would be the last day for the Management to give out any bonus to those that might get it. Or at least that’s what my superior told me, giving me false hope? Haaaa! It’s a gone case, there’s just too many layers of people to go through to be recognised in this company I work for at the moment. Now I get to experience why people are discouraging me to join this company in the first place. The owner is a good man, I have my utmost respect for him but there’s just so many people that works for him who are just too happy to see the other staff are not well taken care of. So it is decided, it’s time to move on again. I’m tired of being the dumping zone for all those piles of work while others gets the rewards. But at least, as much as it surprised me, I got a big angpow from my superior, acknowledging that I’m a hardworking employee. Thank you for acknowledging my work, and I’m glad that my superior is a human after all.

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You cannot change the wind, but you can adjust the sail.

Sometimes, by not making any decision, it is already making a decision ~ CSI, Sara Sidle

Have you ever come across those quotes above? Or like me, who just love the CSI TV series, thought what Sara said in one of the episode to Grissom was brilliant! Decisions, we always make decisions in our daily life anyway. The impact could be small or big, but still it is a decision nevertheless. I’ve made my decision, but when it involves someone else, sometimes the decision you make just take another turn than what you wanted in the first place.

Who says being single is easy? To those of you married couples out there, if you think choosing which toys to buy for your kids gives you headache, what make you think that the singles have less complicated life that you are? I seriously despise the people who keep saying this to me “at least you don’t have kids to think about, no husband to take care of!” Hey, you damn well know all those when you first commited yourself to the term “MARRIAGE”. Yes, we the singles may not have to think about the kids, the husbands, but puhleeeezzzz, we are all humans, we all have our own problems but you don’t have to tell the world how difficult your life is, do you think it is some sort of a competition? If that’s the case, then by all means, you win hands down!

If you are one of the lucky individual who get a nice, responsible, understanding  person as your partner, well at least you have someone to discuss your problems with. You can rely on that someone’s opinion because sometimes, those decisions will affect both of your lives anyway. But that does not mean that I HAVE to get married just for the sake of being married. I just want a companion, someone I can rely to, someone that cherishes me, appreciates me, loves spending time with me - even being happy having quiet moments with me. In short, someone who is happy and proud to have me as a partner.

I am single, so what? Buzz off! Let me live my life, as you live yours!

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